someone explain the jewish holidays to me like i’m 5 years old

miss-sweetpotato:

yourg4memasterth3whiter4bbit:

above-d-clouds:

galaxy-of-great-possibilities:

rizaoftheowls:

derinthemadscientist:

rizaoftheowls:

Purim: They tried to kill us, we survived. Let’s tell the story, wear silly costumes, and get wasted. (Optional: have a carnival or a play!)

Passover: They enslaved us, God freed us. Remember this via a big ceremony/feast and then don’t eat bread for a week. This is a big one; you’re going to have to clean your house and host all your relatives.

Tu B'Shevat: It’s Earth Day, let’s eat some fruit.

Simchas Torah: We read the entire Torah every year, and we got to the end! Let’s have a dance party and then start all over again!

Tisha B'Av: They destroyed our temples. That sucked.

Rosh HaShanah: Happy New Year! It’s time to ask (and grant) forgiveness for the wrongs done in the past year, pledge to do better, and wish for a sweet new year. And go to synagogue for HOURS.

Yom Kippur: Rosh HaShanah’s somber counterpart. God decides on this day your fate for the next year. Repent your sins, hope for forgiveness, and fast. (And go to synagogue for HOURS.)

Yom HaShoah: Holocaust Remembrance Day.

Sukkot: Harvest festival! Sleep in a hut under the stars.

Shemini Atzeret: Man, I don’t even know?

Shavuot: God gave us the Torah! That was pretty nice of him.

Chanukah: They busted up our temple and tried to forcibly convert us. We responded with guerilla warfare. Let’s eat some fried food. Candles!

So basically the entire Jewish holiday calendar is giving the middle finger to death and high-fiving, with or without various combinations of prayer and foods.

Yup. Or as we say, “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat.”

thank you for the desc’s bcs they are beautiful and i am now educated

A handy table for everyone:

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Dates would also seem helpful to know when people are celebrating or observing these, if that’s cultural knowledge that wants to be shared in each case, that is.

Idk them but they go by the hebrew calendar that doesn’t sink with the international one (idk what’s it called in english tbh) im sure that if you look up a hebrew/jewish calendar you’d find it, but since the two calendars aren’t sinked the date you’re used to is going to change every year eventhough the hebrew date stays the same. I hope it helps!

greenleaf9:

chubbyooo:

paddysnuffles:

math-is-magic:

prismatic-bell:

generalgrievousdatingsim:

generalgrievousdatingsim:

gayarsonist:

i can’t talk shit about the pirates of the caribbean films as if elizabeth swann becoming pirate king didn’t hand my entire ass to me and make me the gay i am today

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these 2 looks basically defined my sexuality and i’m not afraid to admit it

things pirates of the caribbean got right:

1. will and elizabeth’s love story

2. elizabeth becoming pirate king

3. avoiding sexualizing elizabeth or the other female pirate characters in the first 3 films by allowing them to wear period-accurate pirate outfits that aren’t tailored to be revealing and impractical for ‘sex appeal’ just because they’re women

4. hans zimmer’s entire score but especially the iconic ‘he’s a pirate’ main theme

5. When the movie came out, morally-gray characters like Jack were actually not really a thing yet in pop culture, and it’s not Pirates’ fault that there are a ton of stupid shitty copycats out there.

6. I run a corseting panel at cons and literally use Elizabeth’s lace-up scene as a video clip of what historical corseting was actually like, because the only thing they got wrong in this scene is that tightlacing wouldn’t be a thing for about another 200 years (and you couldn’t tightlace with the corset style Elizabeth is wearing anyway). It’s one of the most accurate corseting scenes I’ve ever seen.

7. Will’s hat.

8. That scene with all the pirates on the gallows where that little boy starts singing Hoist the Colours? Yeah, that’s fucking legendary. The rest of AWE was kind of a trash fire, but that scene gave me goosebumps.

9. There’s this great shot in the first one where they really drive home the class differences inherent in this time period by having the governor talking about progress and civilization to Elizabeth in their carriage, and then they cut to a shot outside the carriage where a beggar gets splashed by mud from the wheel. It’s a perfect way to underline that everything is not, in fact, a nice little upper-class fairytale, and to give some weight to Will’s storyline, because he has a lot more in common with that beggar than with the governor.

10. For its time, the CGI was fucking amazing.

11. And let’s not forget the work of the makeup department, which had to actually invent new ways of putting on makeup for this movie.

12. The governor’s death scene. Holy shit.

13. They could have gone with a Jack/Will/Elizabeth love triangle, but they didn’t. There are some hints Jack is in love (or at least in lust) with Elizabeth, but he recognizes that she loves Will, and that’s that.

14. You’ve got to admit that wedding was unique.

15. The introduction of fantasy elements to historical fiction outside of Tolkein-esque fantasy, and how it contributed to and expanded the Fantasy Media boom we’re still enjoying today.

1. They had a woman of colour play a goddess.

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2. They had a woman pirate right in the first film, when the tradition is to only show male ones (hell, the PotC ride at Disney had a wench auction scene until recently). And it was a female pirate of colour at that!

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3. Elizabeth may not have known how to fight in the first film, but she wasn’t helpless either. Her first instinct was to fight, but she also had the brains to recognize when it was best to hide instead. Plus when given the chance she stabbed Barbosa that one time.

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4. Elizabeth’s lack of fighting ability was not simply because she was a woman, it was clear it was due to her societal circumstances, since we saw other women of different socioeconomic backgrounds being able to fight (and when given the opportunity to learn Elizabeth took to fighting like a duck on water).

5. The Hoist the Colours scene where we see pirates of multiple ethnicities and their varying flags, reminding us that pirates came in all shapes and sizes and weren’t just white men.

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6. One of the Pirate Lords being yet ANOTHER woman of colour. She may not have had much of a speaking role if memory serves, but even her presence is already a big deal.

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7. The pirates accepting their King is a woman without much fuss.

Pirates is amazing I will not here a bad word

Davy Jones CGI is legendary and a ton better than some of the stuff done today 😄

So the other female pirate lord is actually based off a real life pirate!!! Her name was Ching Shih! At one point in her life she commanded over 300 ships!!! Here’s a link to her Wikipedia:

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There are some incredible women pirates in history!!

lazykrimzen99:

ATTENTION QINNIART FANS!!

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AN EGYPTIAN COMPANY STOLE QINNI’S ART TO TRY TO PROFIT OFF OF HER PASSING! THEIR “EVIDENCE” IS QINNI SAYING TO PUT IT ON THE BACK BURNER! NOT AN ACTUAL YES! THIS IS COPYRIGHTED WORK AND THIS IS VERY PROBLEMATIC! THIS IS LIKE JAYSTATION WITH ETIKA’S DEATH. SO, NO MATTER WHAT, DO NOT SUPPORT MELON4NOTES OR PARTNER COMPANIES! SPREAD THE WORD!

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

aimofdestiny:

dateamonster:

original theory: succubi are always women, incubi are always men 

facts: in fact succubus comes from the latin word “succubare” which means “to lie under” and incubus comes from the latin word “incubare” which means “to lie on”

new improved theory: incubi are always tops and succubi are always bottoms. gender doesn’t matter at all.

addendum: if the sex demon in question is versatile, they’re a concubus, from the latin for ‘to lie with/beside’.

Proper Latin headcanon accepted.